Welcome to Pineapple Court
Hospitality (noun): the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.
It’s New Years Day 2019, and I’m writing to you from Longwood, Florida. It’s where my parents have lived for more than 20 years, and where much of my childhood and young adulthood happened.
Every street in this neighborhood is named after a different type of orange, a gentle nod to this plot’s history as a citrus grove. My parent’s house is white with decorative chocolate brown shutters and trim, a rather steep driveway by Florida standards, and a two-car garage that has never housed a car but has served as a rotating hub for our many hobbies. A skinny palm tree waves from the front yard as you cruise into the cul-de-sac. My parents picked this ranch-style abode because it met my mom’s two main criteria: four bedrooms and a pool. It also had a large open living room, which was a non-negotiable for the way this family operated.
The spirit of hospitality still lives here. This house is full of people today, and you know, hospitality is all about people.
What is Hospitality
Hospitality begins and ends with the care of people. Its simple goal is to make people feel good. Comfortable. Safe. Special.
At its most basic, hospitality offers a chance at survival for a person lacking food, clothing, or shelter. It’s an open couch and hot meal for a weary traveler. It’s sharing your water in the desert.
At its most extravagant, hospitality is a way to bring the greatest possible honor to a significant person or event, like a wedding or a coronation banquet for a king. In the middle of those examples lies most of our daily lives, where opportunities abound to celebrate, appreciate and share life together.
I mean it when I say opportunities abound. I want to help you see them. Every time we eat or drink, there is an opportunity to practice hospitality. Every time we come in contact with another person, that’s an opportunity to pause and create a space to exchange hospitable words. Your child got a better grade in English this week, so the family can celebrate with a high five or a treat. The weather’s nice, so go enjoy a walk for twenty minutes with another soul. Have people over because it’s Tuesday!
When you ask someone to join you even in small things, you are welcoming them into your world. You are practicing hospitality.
The Three Elements of Hospitality
There are three words you’re going to find all over the place at The Welcome Cat, because these three words embody just about everything we’re going to talk about.
And they are:
Mindset, Space, and Habits.
Mindset refers to our attitudes about every aspect of hospitality. Our attitudes about people in general, or about specific people. Mindset includes how we approach the work of hospitality, our attitudes about chores and the burdens or inconveniences we take upon ourselves to bring joy to others. Mindset is where we train ourselves to set goals and keep our focus on serving others. Mindset is the most important and most powerful tool we have to make people feel good.
The Space of hospitality is the physical environment we create for people. It includes furniture and light sources. It also includes smells, food and drink, gifts, temperature, toiletries…all the “stuff.” This part is going to be especially fun, because in The Welcome Cat world, you don’t have to be an amazing cook or interior decorator to be wildly successful here. There are some basics to know and understand, and the rest is completely subject to your own taste and available resources. You’ll find so often that in the Space category, less is more, especially when Mindset and Habits are going strong.
The Habits of hospitality are the intentional things we say and do to make people feel comfortable. These can be very different in different cultures, but the important thing here is that some effort is made, because people can tell when we’re trying! Habits include manners. Saying please and thank you and offering a hug or a handshake. Habits include communication skills, like eye contact, attentive listening, and contributing meaningfully to conversation. Habits include awareness and anticipation of needs, like offering direction to the bathroom or to where a person is welcome to smoke.
What Hospitality is Not
There are some things I intentionally don’t include in The Welcome Cat definition of hospitality. Here, hospitality is not about impressing people. It’s about serving people. Here, hospitality is not schmoozing. It’s giving rest.
I’m also not talking about the business of hospitality. The objective of hotels and restaurants is to make a profit, and the best ones do that by using the principles of hospitality to give their customers great experiences. I love to experience their hospitality and I gladly leave my dollars at their doors! But here, we talk about hospitality that does not seek something in return.
Finally, hospitality is not limited to a certain time or place. It can happen at home, at work, or on the street. It can happen over a year or in a moment passing by.
Basic Hospitality
There are five things you can always do to make people feel welcome, no matter where you are or what you have. Here are the five things:
- Give A Warm Greeting
- Provide Nourishment / Share what you have
- Don’t Apologize for what you have
- Give Your Full Attention
- Be thankful for the Time
To improve your human interactions immediately, take this list at face value and just do it. To get more details about how and why it works, read on.
Have you had experiences about what I’m talking about? Are you thinking about specific topics you hope will pop up sooner rather than later at The Welcome Cat? Please leave a comment!
I’m so glad you’re here! Stay awhile.
Hannah Tomlinson
ps. If you’re wondering why I chose the cat as a symbol of hospitality, here’s your post: Why the Cat?
36 COMMENTS
Excellent article on hospitality! I’m excited about your approach — really helps clear up fuzzy thinking about what makes for a rich life. Lead on!!! Congratulations on getting this started. Wishing you every success! – DJR
I’m so glad to de-fuzz! Thank you for all your guidance and unwavering support on this project. Your words mean so much! Onward!
What a lovely way to welcome everyone to your blog. I look forward to reading more 🙂
Thank you so much Amanda!
Thoughtful and well put, Hannah! Looking forward to reading more!
Thank you so much Sarah! Excited!
Congratulations on the launch of your blog! I love your message and from the little bit of time that I was blessed to spend with you, I could see that you have a gift for making everyone feel special and valued. You have already created an online space that reflects that and your mission to pass on these gifts to others will make such a difference in peoples lives. So many of the things you talk about have become a lost art in our busy, fast-paced, self-absorbed culture. I’m so excited to follow you on this journey.
Laura, thank you for this! I’m so happy I got to meet you and Robert that last morning, what lights you both are. Thank you for being here!
Celebrating a New year and the creating of Welcome Cat! I could feel the welcoming warmth of this new blog already!
Oh good, I’m so glad to hear it! Thank you so much for being here and celebrating with me!
What a lovely introduction! I love that you mentioned that hospitality is about people and relationships than about trying to impress them with our amazing cooking or decor! Anyone and everyone can be hospitable. I’m excited about reading more of what you have to share!
Thank you Melanie! Yes yes yes, so much to give! I am already salivating over your own contributions that I know are coming. Thanks for your heartfelt enthusiasm and encouragement friend!
An excellent launch for your site. I look forward to reading more from you as you share your heart with others. With so much negativity in the world, a site focusing on making others feel welcome and appreciated is so needed. Can’t wait to read more.
This means so much Rena, thank you! Can’t wait to share more, and to hear more of what’s resonating with you in the world where you work and serve. Much love!
Thank you for the invite……….your blog is very welcoming. I am pretty sure I’m leaving it feeling exactly as you had intended/hoped. Looking forward to future visits. Great job!!!
Thanks Laura, that is so great to hear! Thanks for being here and I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts!
I love the #3 – “Don’t apologize for what you have”. I find myself doing this (or for what I don’t have) too often. Good points to keep in mind!
Rebecca – you are NOT alone! I’m excited to share more about that one. Thank you for being here! I look forward to hearing more insights from you – and Carlos too! <3
Great article Hannah! I look forward to reading your blog. I’m really looking for some advice on how to be hospitable to our new community while having a small child. I’ve already tried a few of your tips about conversation.
Thank you Anita! And thank you for the Marco Polo (which I’m still trying to figure out how to use!) It made my day to know these ideas are already being put to work – and I hope they’re working! I would really love to hear more of your insights as we go and I’ll be thinking of you as I write. Hugs to your whole family – and thanks for being here!
Very nicely said, Hannah, looking forward to more 🙂
Thank you Hali! Much more to come! I’d love to hear more of your thoughts as we go, I know you have a lot to share. Thank you for being here!
Looking forward to reading more, Hannah!
Loved this part especially:
“Here, hospitality is not about impressing people. It’s about serving people. Here, hospitality is not schmoozing. It’s giving rest.”
Such an important point for a genuinely enjoyable experience for everyone involved!
Thank you Sarah! I want to hear all of your thoughts as we go deeper into all this. You are a constant inspiration to me as I so often see you reach out of your comfort zone to serve bigger. Thank you for being here!
Great post! I can’t wait to see more! I think you could do a post on each of the 5 basics of hospitality! I struggle with apologizing about everything that’s out of place 🙂
Thank you Didi! I’m actually working on those next five right now. =D Definitely let me know what you think about the apologizing segment – you are so good at getting to the heart of issues, I always want to know what you think. Thank you for being here friend! Your support means the world!
I love the way you approach “hospitality” as a coming together to share yourself and whatever you have–it doesn’t have to be fancy– and the fact that friendship/hospitality can be extended anytime, anywhere. I never actually thought of it that way before, and I think it’s just what we need more of in today’s split society. I’m looking forward with much anticipation to your next comments.
Cherie, I’m glad to hear these ideas are resonating with you too! Our little worlds can be such sweeter places if we just open up our definition of hospitality. 🙂 Thank you for being here, and I so look forward to hearing more from you!
I’m so proud of you! A much needed topic of discussion and exploration needed!!!
Thank you Dianna! I look forward to hearing more of your insights and we move forward!
Looking forward to your blog. As my husband is a Rotarian, we have the opportunity to host young professionals from all over the world. With social media we have been able to stay in contact with many of them. I try to share our American culture with my guests as well as being aware of their culture. Always looking for new ways to make their visit to the US a wonderful experience.
Linda, I didn’t know you two did all that! How wonderful! I look forward to hearing more of your stories as we go. I think the international angle on hospitality is so important and so fun, because it’s there we see how the little human things we do can mean so much…and how alike we are. Thank you for being here!
love ❤️ the blog! My family and I have always felt at home at Pineapple Court and at your house as well !
Thank you Brenda! Your home has been a haven for us too – as you know! I have stories to share. =D Love you and thanks for being here!
Excellent site you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any forums that cover the same topics discussed in this article?
I’d really love to be a part of comunity where I
can get opinions from other experienced individuals that share the same interest.
If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
Thanks!
Hi Alexis! I don’t know of any other forums about hospitality the way it’s presented here, but I’m hoping The Welcome Cat becomes one! Feel free to ask questions and share ideas here in the comments, or on The Welcome Cat Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/thewelcomecat) or on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thewelcomecat). Thanks for being here! ~ Hannah